


Issues

by Jadedminx



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Depression, Eating Disorders, I might add more tags later, M/M, Songfic, emotional eating disorder, i don't know even know where im taking this story but here it is, if you need me to tag more warnings please let me know, thanks for stopping by
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-04
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-11-23 03:17:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11394261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jadedminx/pseuds/Jadedminx
Summary: Yuuri and Victor have issues. Although they come from different backgrounds and go through different things, they find that they have more in common than they think. A story of overcoming and healing





	1. I'm Jealous

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so this story got stuck in my head since I heard the song Issues by Julia Michaels. It is a great song and inspired me to write this. I'm following the song lyrics but not exactly to their literal meaning. You'll see what I mean. I don't know yet where I'm going with this story so my apologies in advance  
> This is also my first fanfic that I make public so there's that  
> I do not own these characters, this is a work of fiction (loosely) based on Yuri!!! On Ice -the anime  
> Only two (2) original characters by me not mentioned by name in the character tags

Yuuri

 

“Yuuri.”

It was a simple phone call that made him like this. 

“You better sit down.”

Late at night, his mother called. 

“We have some bad news for you.”

He answered the phone after recognizing it was her, a little confused but nonetheless happy to answer her. 

“It’s about Vicchan.”

She barely said his name before she started crying. His heart jumped at the sound of her sobbing and called out her name but his mother had passed the phone onto his sister already. She was the one that delivered the news.

“He died today.”

He faintly heard her explain what had happened; his mind going blank, all he could do was slowly sink onto his apartment floor. 

“We took him out for a walk, like usual, and-”

His hand over his mouth, he managed to contain his crying to a bare minimum. He could only guess the amount of grief his sister was in already and he didn’t want to contribute to it with his own grief. 

“-we had him unleashed, like always-”

It’s not enough. His hand is not enough to cover his grief. He dazedly gets up from the floor. He slowly walks towards his kitchen zombie-like. 

“-it was all fine, of course, so I walked over to see the flowers and-

He found some strawberries, doughnuts and a box of cereal. He opened the freezer. 

“I didn’t- I wasn’t watching him, so when the car-”

Ice cream. New one too. This will do.

“Yuuri, are you there?”

He spent the next couple of hours eating away his feelings. He started with the strawberries, and then the cereal. Eating the cereal by the handfuls, he munched away until the box was empty and then he grabbed a doughnut. And then another doughnut. By the third doughnut, he faintly thought he should stop but then his hand reached for the ice cream and those thoughts stopped instead. 

“I’m so sorry, honey. I really am.”

Phichit, his best friend and roommate, found him later alone in the kitchen with the lights turned off and quietly sobbing with his mouth stuffed of ice cream. He came home quickly when Yuuri wouldn’t answer his text messages. 

Yuuri took one look at his best friend and let out a sob that was building inside of him. It happened again. 


	2. I’m overzealous

Victor wanted another shot. He has been standing by the dance floor for almost ten minutes and while the offers were not lacking, he didn’t feel in the mood for dancing. He wanted another shot. 

A shot of what didn’t matter. All that matters is that his hands are still steady and his head is only slightly buzzed. He can still think too clearly.

He would have gone up to the bartender and pay for one but he suspected that the bartender started to water down his drinks three shots ago. He wasn’t going to pay for some piss poor drink; if he wanted that he would have gone to some frat party. Plenty of those but not with the kind of quality alcohol Victor looks for his drinks. 

He looked around. Maybe…

Found one. What a lovely couple. The guy and girl making cutesy faces at each other, the girl still shaves her legs and the guy still gets a fade. They must still be new. Whatever. Take what you can get and move on. 

The girl gets up from her seat and moves towards the restroom. Victor quickly decides, guy or girl. Eeny meeny miney moe.  Guy. Doesn’t matter, not for this, not for long, but the guy seems more flexible. Easier to work with. 

The girl’s out.  He walks over. 

“Hey.”

It took a record time of one minute to convince the guy to buy him a drink and then another two carefully constructed looks to convince him to keep buying them. When the girl came back, he simply walked over to another table, still in the guy’s line of sight, and waited for the drinks to keep coming. 

They did. This guy was so easy. Eventually, the guy and the girl get up from their table and move to walk out from the bar. The guy managed to “accidentally” drop a napkin on Victor’s table as they passed by. Victor looked ahead, “pretending” as if he didn’t notice the guy. 

He opened the folded napkin. 

“I drop her off, come back and we’ll talk for real”

A promise. Seeing as to how the guy thought he could drop off his girlfriend and come back quickly, Victor thought he had about five minutes before he had to leave. 

Like a good responsible adult, he hadn’t driven a car over to the bar as he knew he was had every intention to get drunk but now that he was on the run, he wished he had a car.He unlocked his phone, and called an Uber. He didn’t have a lot of money left in his card and he knew was likely to regret it tomorrow but an Uber was needed given the little time. Keeping an eye on the time, he finished the drink he had on his table. He promptly got up once it was done and walked out of the bar. 

Odds are, his uber gets here before the guy does. Odds are not in his favor, however, and just as his uber pulled up, Victor spotted the guy coming back around the corner. Victor didn’t hesitate and quickly got inside his ride. 

“Drive,” he said to the driver before even closing the door. 

“Hey!”

Victor caught the eye of the guy just as his ride pulled out; he looked angry and irritated. 

Great. Another bar he can’t come back to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think and I will kindly ask to please withhold constructive criticism at this time


	3. When I’m down, I get real down

Yuuri

 

Baby Yuuri loved to eat. He loved his fruits, he loved his sweets and he even loved his vegetables. What blessed parents, the town would say, to have such a marvelous healthy growing kid. 

Mari wanted to get sugar. They had run out the day before and Mari had an idea for a smoothie, something she saw in a magazine, that she wanted to try. It was a slow day for them so her parents let her go to the local store to get some sugar. She had to take Yuuri, though, so that he can walk some and not get bored. It was no bother, though, Mari loves her brother and is happy to take him anywhere. 

Mari grabbed Yuuri’s hand and together they went off to the store. It took them like five minutes, it was close to home. The store was relatively big, bigger than a convenience store but smaller than a supermarket. When they got there, Mari let go of Yuuri’s hand, trusting him to follow her, and began to navigate the store’s aisles for sugar. She stopped a couple of times, distracted by little knick knacks here and there but would eventually resume her search. 

_ This is silly, I live by this store and I don’t even know where the sugar is _ , Mari thought to herself after looking for almost ten minutes without finding it. 

“Hey, where do you think the sugar would be, Yuu-” Mari turned around, fully expecting to meet with her younger brother’s bright eyes and finding him missing. 

“Yuuri?”, Mari looked around herself. 

Mari couldn’t find him. She looked up and down the aisle, she went to the one before it, the one after it, she checked the front of the store and the very back of the store. She couldn’t find him. 

“Yuuri! Yuuri, where are you?” Mari was searching frantically now, looking up and down aisles. 

She was about to head towards the front of the store to make an announcement for him when she heard a faint muffled cry down the candy aisle. There was a an empty bag of candy on the floor. 

“Yuuri?” Mari walked down the aisle, the crying still muffled but getting a little bit louder with each step. 

Finally, she stopped in front of the empty bag of candy and saw her brother. 

Yuuri was sitting between bags of candy, clutching a bag and raising handfuls of candy to his mouth. Eyes vacant, it didn’t seem as if he heard his sister call his name. Not yet.

“Yuuri?” Mari whispered, gently tugging the bag of candy away from his hand. 

Yuuri slowly turned his head towards his sister’s voice. 

“Mari?” 

“Yes sweetheart, it’s me”.

“Mari!” Yuri threw himself at his sister, hugging and crying in earnest in her arms. 

“Where were you? I looked everywhere for you”.

They were both crying now.

“I thought I lost you. I was so scared”.

The empty bag of candy and the half full one were both on the floor, next to them.

“I thought you left me”.

After what seemed like forever, they gathered themselves up. Mari cleaned herself up, and Yuuri wiped away at his tear-stained face. They couldn’t do anything about their red puffing eyes but after a minute of breathing slowly in and out together, they both felt better enough to walk out of the aisle. 

Mari bought the two bags of candy Yuuri had opened. She didn’t buy sugar. They were silent on the way back home, each holding tightly onto the other’s hand. When they got home, her mom was about to ask her what happened to the sugar but didn’t say anything after Mari shook her head. 

At night, Mari tucked Yuuri in his bed and placed a kiss on his forehead good night. At night, Mari told her parents what had happened, Yuuri’s words playing over and over her head. 

Everyone thought that Yuuri’s love for food was a blessing. After that night, they wondered if there was more to it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think and I will kindly ask to please withhold constructive criticism at this time


	4. When I’m high, I don’t come down

Victor

 

Victor doesn’t like drinking. He doesn’t like going to bars, he doesn’t like going to clubs and he doesn’t like the huge hole a night out drinking leaves in his bank account. But one day he lifted up a bottle, just for a small sip, and he hasn’t dropped it since. 

It happened the day after he finally found out who  _ they _ were and why, oh  **why** , did they leave him. At first he looked like he was handling the bit of news well, with his charming smile and his head tilt slightly to the right. When he got home, however, he let out everything he was feeling inside in one cry and couldn’t seem to stop. He fell asleep with a tear-stained shirt and his arms wrapped around his bundled up blanket, a poor replacement for  something someone to cuddle with. He woke up the next morning somehow feeling even worse than the night before but he had a social to attend so he gathered himself as best as he could and left. It was there that someone told him a sip could help him, a sip could make him forget. It did more than that, it made him feel like himself again, his younger self; wonderfully carefree.

It became a regular thing.

-

Alyona was a girl next door. She smelled of sweets and perfume and her hair was always perfectly styled on her head. Her balcony was small but she filled it with beautifully grown red roses, despite the little sun. Her smile was bright and her eyes were kind. Agile and graceful, who couldn’t stare at her, who could resist her pull?

Ivan couldn’t. Everyday he went outside, pretending to tend to his own dying garden while looking at her. He only had a few minutes but he looked at her as much as he could without being overly creepy, obvious and embarrassing about it. 

She noticed.

They talked. They laughed. They saw each other at socials. They kissed. They wanted to get married. 

They were engaged. To others. She to a distant family friend that will bring greater fortune to the family. He to a girl of higher standing, one qualified enough for his family. 

They protested. They fought. They almost eloped had their family not found out. She begged, revealing that she was pregnant. A sneer, a gasp and a slap ended her begging. 

Ushered away, her wedding put off due to mere “sickness”, she was allowed to give birth in the quietest part of her home. Ivan wasn’t there, his family ushered him off to his haste wedding, but on the night his son was born, he could have sworn he felt it. 

She barely saw the top of her baby’s head before it was taken away from her. She wept but didn’t ask for him back, knowing that his birth was the last kindness her family will give her. 

But for her son, it was only the beginning. A servant was sent away, baby in arms, his appearance youthful enough to pass as the father. It wasn’t enough, the family wanted him as far as money can pay. A continent, a whole ocean away. In the dead of the night, the man rushed to the boat the family paid for; he tried his best to quiet the boy’s wailings. The moon shone silver in his hair. 

-

It wasn’t that he liked breaking them up. It wasn’t that he was bored, that he had nothing to do, that he had too much of a drink. He did it to see. He did it to believe.

He found couples of all shapes and sizes. He found couples that dated for months, he found couples that dated for years. Poly or uni, hetero or gay, secret or outspoken, these couples called out to him. 

It must have been the way that they would hold hands. Or the way that one would lean onto the other. It could have been how one would call an Uber and have the other’s jacket draped on their shoulders. Whatever it was, Victor spotted these couples and they drew his eyes towards like a light to a moth. 

He would become friends with them. He would start going out for drinks with them. He wouldn’t go to barbeques, because that’s personal, but if it was a Friday night and no one else responded, he was there. They would exchange numbers and he would text them. Separately. Sometimes all it took was a few words (god, those were pathetic), sometimes it took coffee or dinner or both. Sometimes, all it took as a lending ear, a sympathetic “I understand” and it was done. But always, it was too easy. By the time the month was finished, the couple was done, each trying to call him and Victor would block their numbers. All too easy. 

Victor didn’t break up ten couples for fun. He didn’t do it out of boredom or spite. He did it to believe. He did it to believe that love can overcome. He wanted so badly believe that real love exists.  

Victor took another sip from his drink. For now, at least he can relieve his pain. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think and I will kindly ask to please withhold constructive criticism at this time


	5. I get angry

Yuuri

 

One of the best things about sharing an apartment with your best friend is that they are always there for you. 

Yuuri woke up the next day in Phichits arms. It was nothing sexual and nothing romantic, it was an arrangement they came to long ago, back from their college years. Whenever Yuuri falls down into one of his attacks, Phichit always lets Yuuri sleep with him. 

He used to do the same with Mari whenever they could but after he moved to the U.S for college it became harder for him to deal with the aftermath by himself. Yuuri suffered for a while, living alone in the University’s dorms, hugging himself to sleep and buying as little food as possible in case his condition struck. It was harder than he anticipated to live like this and Yuuri was about to give up entirely when Phichit was assigned his dorm room just before school started. When he met Phichit, it was like God him/herself told him everything will be alright. After a disastrous first impression (Yuuri’s opinion), Phichit and Yuuri clicked. Every since then and after numerous events and incidents, Phichit and Yuuri became as close as brothers.  

Judging by the even breathing next to him, Yuuri knew that Phichit was still asleep but he had to go to the bathroom. Carefully without disturbing his best friend’s sleep, Yuuri maneuvered out from under his arm and off the bed.  

The floor was cold underneath his feet, which shocked him for a second but not enough to clear his foggy mind. Shuffling towards the bathroom, Yuuri stretched his arms and massaged his strained neck. 

In the bathroom, yuuri avoided looking in the mirror and instead focused on brushing his teeth. He tried not to think about last night so he searched for a comb instead. Putting down his toothbrush, he quickly brushed the comb through his hair, not trying to fix it or arrange it in any way, but just to get the knots out. Once he felt there were no more knots, he set the comb down and finished brushing his teeth. He splashed away any remaining toothpaste and walked out the bathroom towards his room. 

Phichit was awake by now. But after years of being with Yuuri, he knew Yuuri needed some time alone before being approached by anyone. So when he walked back into the room, Phichit faked being asleep and heard Yuuri open and close his wardrobe. He continued to wait until finally he heard Yuuri shuffle around the kitchen, turning on the stove. This meant Yuuri was starting a new day.

“Good morning,” Phichit said as he walked in the kitchen.

“Morning”.

“Eggs and toast?”.

“Yeah, sounds good”.

Phichit watched Yuuri cook, not moving because he didn’t want to help, but because he knew Yuuri needed to feel in control again, like he can work again. 

Breakfast was ready relatively fast, two plates ready and set down on the kitchen table. They ate in silence, not uncomfort, and only spoke when Yuuri asked if Phichit wanted some milk.  Once done, Yuuri cleared the table and went to the living room. Phichit washed the dishes and promptly joined him. 

They watched TV for a while, some morning show with a fake cheerful host.  Neither of them saying anything for a while.

“Phichit-”

“Yuuri.”

“I’m sor-”

“Don’t be.”

“It’s just that-”

“I said what I said.”

“Phichit.”

“Yuuri.”

Neither of them moved. The TV host was talking about some celebrity. 

“I just wish that you would get some help,” Phichit said. 

“You know I can’t.”

“Yes you can.”

“No, I don’t have the money.”

“I can lend you some.”

“Phichit-”

“I mean it-”

“No, Phichit. No you can’t. I won’t let you do it.”

“Yuuri, as your best friend friend and as a person that deeply cares about you, yes I can.”

“No, Phichit. This isn’t some small bill we’re talking about here. A visit to a psychologist alone would be-’

“And this isn’t some small thing we’re talking about here either, Yuuri. We’re talking about your mental health, your physical hea-”

“It’s my body, Phichit. It’s my choice. I’m fine.”

Yuuri was slowly raising his voice. Phichit knew that he had to tread carefully now, lest he would do more harm than good. They’ve had this conversation for years now and every time either Yuuri would storm out, enraged that Phichit would imply that Yuuri can’t take care of himself, or Phichit would go in the wrong direction and see the pain it caused Yuuri  in his eyes. It was a delicate conversation but it was one he was determined to have time after time to help his friend. 

“I know you are. But a little help could maybe ease you more.”

The TV show host was wrapping up his show, saying his goodbyes now. Upbeat music began to play and the TV show host smiled a wide smile, full of painfully white teeth. 

“I’ll think about it.”

A stalemate. The first one in years. Phichit let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in and felt himself relax. Yuuri did the same. Neither of them pushed more, knowing that this was the best they would get. It was little, but was an advancement. 

Friendship can come easy. But real companionship takes work; trial and error, tears and hugs. The effort must go both ways and conversations need to be open. But the result? The result can be beautiful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another update. Please let me know what you think. I will politely ask to please refrain from giving constructive criticism at this time. 
> 
> Some notes about this section: Yuuri was living in the dorms for a program his university was holding to get international students time to adjust before school starts. I don't know if any school actually does that but we;ll just with it for now. Also, I didn't mention any university, yet, I know it's a mess but I'll get things together. Maybe later now I mention one. Maybe not. If it's related to the plot then yeah. Who knows, not me. Anyways thanks everyone.


	6. Baby believe me

Victor

 

Victor woke up to his phone ringing. Loudly. Or maybe that was just his head and his phone was fine. Either way, it needed to stop.

“Hello?”

“Are you up yet or do I need to give you a few more minutes?” Chris said on the other line.

“I’ll call you back.”

“Please do.”

Victor hung up, tossed his phone back down his bed. He give himself a few more minutes laying down on his bed, opening and closing his eyes to adjust to the light in his room. Once he felt like keeping his open for more than a minute wasn’t going to blind him, Victor slowly got up from his bed. His head was pounding and he felt dizzy so again, he stopped for a minute. Afterwards, he got up and slowly made his way to his bathroom.

He couldn’t avoid looking in the mirror. He looked awful. His hair was messed up, his eyes faintly red, bags forming wonderfully under his eyes, and his face was slightly puffed up. What the-

_Maybe my drinks were stronger than I thought._

Stripping off yesterday’s misadventures, Victor stepped in for one of his favorite cold showers (not that he ever got hot water) and quickly washed away last night. It also did wonders to his foggy mind. Stepping out and wrapping a towel around himself, he grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste. Thoroughly brushing his teeth, his gums bled a little but at least the smell of alcohol was almost gone from his breath now. He used mouthwash to eliminate the rest and popped in a mint gum for good measure. Grabbing his comb, he first brush away all of the knots in his hair and then focused on arranging to just the way he liked it. He put on some light gel in front and left the rest alone. Satisfied that he looked decent, he went back to his room.

Putting on fresh clothes was like a declaration, a physical way of saying “a brand new day”. Yeah last night was bad but today is different. Or so he felt. He always liked to think that maybe today he won’t go out to bar.

Moving to his kitchen, he made himself a cup of bitter coffee and some toast. Well, a slice of bread, not toast, but those are details. All that matters is that he got breakfast.

Makka whined from the kitchen entry.

_Oh, his food_

Victor put down his cup and bread toast and reached down into a cabinet. Pulling out Makka’s doggie food bag and bowl, he quickly poured out some and put it down on the floor. Makka walked over and began to munch away while Victor put away the bag.

Resuming his coffee, he pulled out his phone from his pocket. Just as he unlocked it, a text message alert buzzed.

 

**One Shot**

You forgot to call me __

_ Whoops _

“Hey whats up?”

“You mean besides your impeccable memory?”

“Yeah.”

“You're unbelievable.”

“True.”

“Jerk. I called to make sure you're still alive, since last night you wouldn't answer any of my messages or tags.”

“Yeah, I had an early night last night. Came home and went to sleep.”

“You know, just because you have grey hair doesn't mean you are old.”

“Now who's the jerk?”

“Right. All I'm saying is that you should live more. Stop spending all your days at home.”

_ Right. _

“I like home.”

“And I like dogs but you don't see me hang around dog parks all the time, no?”

“You hang around Makka alot.”

“That's different.”

“Right.”

“Unbelievable. Well in any case, I taking you out this weekend. You can't say no. Friday night, my treat. No questions asked. No ifs or buts.”

“And I don't get a say in the matter?”

“No, none.”

“Alright.”

“That's a good boy. See you at work.”

Chris hung up. Victor put down his phone on the kitchen counter and stared into space. 

Chris and Victor have been friends since high school. They met sophomore year and out of everyone he met since then, Chris is the closest person he’d call a best friend. Chris was the one that was there the night Victor found out the truth. Chris was also the one that gave Victor a shot to help him forget just for one night. Chris didn't know that one night became many nights and many nights became every night. The first time things went wrong at a bar, Victor had called Chris for help and to tell him that maybe he had a problem. But when Chris answered, laughing at a joke his long term boyfriend had said, Victor couldn't find it within himself to say anything. How could he, when Chris was so happy in his own world? What right did Victor have to bring his own darkness into it? Victor lied straight through his teeth, said the call was on accident and hung up. He never called again. 

There are some things a person can't bring themselves to say to others, not even to a best friend. It's not because of trust or because of spite. It's because of a lack of words, the right words, to say. 

Chris thinks Victor is fine. And he’s fine. He’s always  _ fine. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again. Please let me know what you think, I really appreciate comments and whatnot. However, I will politely ask to please refrain from giving constructive criticism at this time. 
> 
> Reminder that although this is a tech. a songfic, I will not be taking/using the lyrics literally every time
> 
> Thanks again for sticking by

**Author's Note:**

> More to come, this one is pretty short but I'm pretty sure the chapters will get longer eventually. Please let me know what you think of this and I am kindly asking to please withhold constructive criticism at the time.


End file.
